Wednesday, January 6, 2010

What does it mean?

let me start by saying this post of kind of long ...

I've been doing some thinking about what it means for a woman to truly submit to her husband. I'm going to be honest here ... it's something I really struggle with. I think all women struggle with it because of the sin of Adam and Eve in the garden. The Lord says to Eve, "I will greatly increase your pains in childbearing; with pain you will give birth to children. Your desire will be for your husband, and he will rule over you." There are many interpretations of what exactly this means, but the word desire is key. The same word (in Hebrew) is used in Genesis 4:7 when the Lord tells Cain that sin "desires to have you". It is a desire to master, to rule over, to control. The same way sin desires to rule over us, we desire to rule over our husbands. So thinking, praying, and talking about this subject helps me to work through and repent of those sinful thoughts I tend to have.

So, if our desire is to rule over our husbands, how do we conquer that desire?

Paul, in Ephesians, addresses the issue of submission.

Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.
(Ephesians 5:22-24)

What does this really mean?

Earlier in Ephesians, Paul talks about the subject of submission. But instead of talking in reference to husbands and wives, he talks about submitting to each other. We are called, as Christians, to be humble and submissive. Before God, believers are all equal, and no one is better than anyone else. Because of this we are submissive to other believers.

It is only after Paul establishes this submission among believers that he speaks of husbands and wives. All Christian wives are called to be submissive to their husbands. One commentary I read put it this way, "The Spirit-filled wife recognizes that her husband's role in giving leadership is not only God-ordained but also a reflection of Christ's own loving, authoritative headship of the church. As the Lord delivered His church from the dangers of sin, death, and hell, so the husband provides for, protects, preserves, and loves his wife, leading her to blessing as she submits."

God tells us to submit, and this does not mean that we do whatever we are told. That we are not allowed to have opinions of our own, or that we lose our own identity in that of our husbands.

But it does mean that we trust the man that God has put in our lives. We know that he isn't perfect, but we look to his leadership in our lives and willingly and lovingly offer to follow him. Even when we think we know best, and that he can't possibly do things any better than we can. We remember that God designed marriage this way from the beginning. And ultimately we trust Him to guide our husbands in their leadership over us.

It's a hard thing to do, especially when you're like me and want to be in control all the time, but God commands it. It's not a suggestion or a request. Ephesians doesn't say, 'Wives, when you feel like it, submit to your own husbands' or ' when he's right' or 'when you don't know what else to do'. It simply says, "Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord." and that's what we should do.

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